


funeralia

by sxldato



Category: Saints Row
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Multi, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-28 21:49:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16250456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxldato/pseuds/sxldato
Summary: Saints Row 2 didn't give us Aisha's real funeral, so I wrote it.





	funeralia

**Author's Note:**

> my friend got me hooked on saints row and i finished sr2 in a week. i am Critical Gay for johnny gat  
> there are two bosses in this fic because i love my friend's boss just as much as i love my own boss???? kelly belongs to my friend @mintyeggs on tumblr, _please_ go look at his artwork it's bomb. savvy is My Boy  
>  sidenote, the working title for this was "press f to pay respects"

It was a small ceremony. 

The weather was nice, not rainy and dreary like it always was in movies. It was a quiet, sunny day, with a couple clouds in the sky. That telltale autumn wind came in from the east, brisk and clean, bringing up childhood memories of trick-or-treating and jumping into piles of dead leaves. 

Everyone was surprised to find out that Kelly and Savvy owned appropriate funeral attire: black suits, black ties, black oxford shoes. Kelly had even removed his earrings and lip ring, and his hair was drawn back into a braid that came down over one of his shoulders. The thin silver chain Savvy wore around his neck was gone, along with his steel nameplate bracelet. The two of them, usually the ones to stand out in a crowd, looked almost unrecognizable. They had become plain, disguised in their grief. 

The twisted bright side was that the Saints had faked Aisha’s death before, so Johnny didn't have to deal with any of her family members. He could mourn alone, without shame. 

The pastor recited a couple psalms, and then a poem. 

“‘Tis a fearful thing,” he read, “to love what death can touch.” 

The pastor went on with the poem, and Johnny propped his glasses up on his head while he wiped something from his eye. 

Savvy and Kelly didn’t say a word until the service was over. They lay their roses on the casket and watched it lower into the ground in silence. They pretended not to hear the sharp breath that Johnny took when the first shovelful of dirt hit the varnished wood. Each person had a turn to pour a mound of dirt into the open grave with the shovel-- before the undertaker had it filled up with a bulldozer or some other machine later, once everyone was gone. 

It didn’t feel like it was really Aisha being buried. It felt like they would drive back to Johnny’s house and find her there, waiting for them. She’d ask what trouble they’d gotten into  _ this  _ time, and Johnny would sweep her up in his arms and kiss her and she would forgive him, because that’s what she always did. 

The service ended and everyone slowly dispersed, heading back to their cars. Johnny stayed, plunking himself down in the grass with a heavy sigh. After a moment, Savvy and Kelly sat down, too. None of them spoke for a while. 

“Johnny, I’m sorry.”

“Shut up, Sav.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Kelly fidgeted-- which he never did, because with an ego as big as the moon, nerves weren't something he dealt with-- and hesitantly put a hand on Johnny’s shoulder. 

“Sav is spending the night at my place, if you wanna come with us.” His voice was uncharacteristically soft. “In case, I mean… if you don’t wanna be alone.” 

They all knew, at some point, Johnny would have to return to that empty house. The blood had been cleaned up and there was no sign of what had happened there, but it felt hollow and wrong. And Johnny didn’t want to go back. 

“... Okay.” 

-

Savvy woke up to the sounds first. He sat up in bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and nudged Kelly. Kelly swatted him and turned over onto his stomach, so Savvy nudged him again. 

“Dude, something’s up.” 

“Yeah,  _ you  _ are. Leave me alone.” 

“No, I mean, something’s  _ up _ .”

Then Kelly heard the noises coming from the living room, too. 

“It’s either Johnny, or someone’s broken into my apartment,” Kelly muttered, rousing himself and getting out of bed. “I’ll get my baseball bat.” 

The two boys padded down the narrow hallway in socked feet and peered into the living room where Johnny was situated on the couch. He wasn't sleeping. The TV was on, and his trembling silhouette stood out against the stark brightness of the television screen. 

“Hey, Johnny?” Kelly called out quietly, and Johnny tensed. 

“Yeah.”

“Are you doing okay?” 

Johnny took a second to answer. “Uh.” His voice was shaky. “No.”

They had expected Johnny to lie, and then they would have had to push him to truth. The brutal honesty was difficult to stomach, and for a moment they were unsure of what to do. 

Kelly set his bat against the wall, and he and Savvy crept closer. Savvy reached to turn on the lamp next to the couch. 

Johnny’s glasses were discarded on the coffee table; his eyes were red and puffy. 

“Shit,” Kelly said. “You're all messed up.”

Johnny scowled, but it held no malice. “Fuck off.” 

Huddled on Kelly’s couch, shrouded in mourning and barely holding back tears, all of the intimidation Johnny used to hold over others was gone. He was vulnerable here and all three of them knew it. 

“He didn't mean it like that,” Savvy said. “We heard noises out here and we… you know. We wanted to make sure you were alright.” 

“Well, here I am, I guess,” Johnny muttered. He wouldn't look at either of them. 

“You could’ve gotten us.” Kelly sat down next to him and Savvy took the other side. Kelly dug the remote out between the couch cushions and turned the TV off. “That's why you're here.”

“Shit’s embarrassing.” 

“No it's not,” Savvy said. “You-- you fuckin’  _ lost  _ somebody, Johnny. No one expects you to get through it on your own.” 

Johnny put his head in his hands. His shoulders shook. 

“I can't stop remembering it. I close my eyes and she's  _ there,  _ and I… I couldn't save her.” He dropped his hands, staring at the carpet. “I couldn't fuckin’ save her.”

“It's not your fault,” Kelly said. 

“How can you say that?” Johnny protested. “Don’t feed me that bullshit-- it  _ is  _ my fault! She was always in danger ‘cause of me!”

“But that was her choice,” Savvy pointed out. “Right? It wasn't a one-way street. She chose to stay with you despite the risk. She knew it could get dangerous, and it didn't matter to her.”

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Johnny crumbled.

“Okay,” Kelly said, pulling Johnny into his arms. “Okay, you're okay.”

Johnny put his head on Kelly’s shoulder, no longer bothering to stifle his cries. Kelly cupped the back of his head and shushed him softly, like Johnny was a child weeping over a nightmare. 

“It should've been me,” he sobbed.

“No,” Kelly and Savvy said at once. Neither of them wanted to even entertain the thought. Things were rough enough as they were. 

Johnny’s breaths came out in gasps. Savvy scooted closer and pressed himself against Johnny’s back to provide a comforting pressure, sandwiching Johnny between himself and Kelly. 

“You gotta calm down, Johnny,” Savvy said. “No use getting yourself all strung out. Won’t do anyone any good.” 

But Johnny kept crying. He cried and cried until his head ached and his stomach was turning over. He’d left a large wet splotch on Kelly’s sleeve. 

“I’m gonna get you some water,” Kelly said, and left Johnny with Savvy for a minute.

Johnny curled up on his side and pressed his face into the couch cushions. Savvy rubbed his back. 

“I dunno what I’m gonna do,” Johnny mumbled. “I just… how am I supposed to get through this?”

“You’re not doing it alone,” Savvy said. “You have a whole family.” 

“And we’re gonna take out every last one of the Ronin,” Kelly added, returning with a glass of water from the sink and a couple of aspirin. “We’ll wipe them out. I promise.” 

“I don’t wanna think about them right now,” Johnny said. He sounded utterly heartbroken, nothing like the usual Johnny Gat who thrived in opportunities for violence. Losing Aisha had changed a part of him, maybe stole it away entirely; that much was clear, even now in the early hours of the morning when everything else was still dark. 

Johnny sat up to take the pills and then downed the glass of water. He scrubbed a hand over his face. “God, I feel so shitty.” 

“You should get some rest,” Savvy suggested gently. 

Kelly picked up the blanket that had been abandoned on the floor and draped it over Johnny’s shoulders. Johnny drew it tighter around himself, sinking back into the couch and closing his eyes. 

“Johnny?” Savvy asked. 

“Mm.” 

“Do you want us to stay here?” 

“... Yeah.” 

“Wake us up if you can’t sleep, okay?” Kelly said. 

“‘Kay.” 

Savvy ended up dragging the duvet off the bed and bringing it to the couch, covering all three of them with the heavy blanket. The couch wasn’t quite made to fit three grown men, so they were all close together, sharing body heat. Johnny’s breathing had already started to even out. 

“Do you think he’ll be alright?” Savvy whispered. 

“I don’t know,” Kelly answered honestly. “I think we’ll all feel better when Shogo and his shit father have matching bullets in their skulls.” 

“I figured you’d say something like that.” 

“Am I wrong?” 

“... No, you’re not.” 

Kelly and Savvy eventually found sleep again. 

**Author's Note:**

> i would say follow me @itsaboutsam on tumblr but unless y'all also are suckers for supernatural then please save yourselves and stay away from the hell pit


End file.
